Dear Stephanie,

   

   Well hello dear old friend! It has been a while since I last wrote, I must apologize for that, but they don't have great Internet reception here in the Outback. The Outback Steakhouse that is, love me some dead animal and potato at the O.S. (That's short for Outback Steakhouse).

   I hope you are doing well, I heard that you were having some ankle problems. Of course you already have weak ankles, and then you go and try to do Rockette moves on the dance floor after your already deep into your cups...well I don't want to sound un-concerned, but it serves you right tramp face.

   I spoke to our mutual friend Eunice this morning, she was on a shopping spree, her insurance check for her 3rd dead husband came today and so she went out and celebrated. Can't blame the old girl, she only has two vacation homes now, she had to sell the other three to pay for her yacht all by herself, I told her then that #3 didn't care! I mean #2 never made her suffer to pay for her own schooner. Hopefully #4 will treat her better. *Sigh* she is 33 and only on her 3rd dead husband, I was 28 by that time and was married to #4! But she always was a slow learner, poor dear.

   I see your sister went and got herself pregnant again, this is her 8th correct? Gerry told me that he couldn't keep up with all of them, but she refuses to hire help. Pride, it is a terrible thing! You need to talk to her, and by 'talk' I mean punch her right in the uterus. You did that for your foreign cousin, so I don't see why you can't do it for your own sister, your closer kin! Imagine it is hard to remember all her kids names, she named them all with 7 Brides for 7 Brothers in mind, but still! Asmerelda, Baleb, Conothan, Doshua, Eyan, Fusan, and Gristle...Lord help #8!

   Well I must be off, I will be sure to write again soon, I know you look forward to my insight.

Yours Kind of Truly

Lindsey